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Unnatural (Archangel Academy) Review

I have to give Michael Griffo points for trying (though not hard enough) in attempting to put a new spin on a worn-out premise. Unfortunately, he fails miserably as all Unnatural manages to do is "out-stupid" Twilight in every way imaginable (not an easy task).
I might have been able to forgive the main character being a professional victim, someone completely incapable of standing up for himself, or accepting responsibility for his own life and true happiness.
Perhaps I could have overlooked the horrendously over-the-top, stereotypical hometown life he had to endure, filled with extras from the hillbilly set of Deliverance who have no possible capacity for "understanding" our hero's plight as they have yet to be introduced to things like indoor plumbing and electricity.
Or maybe I could have just ignored the fact that we are briefly introduced to two characters that prove that this horrendous hometown life didn't have to be so lonely after all (though only one of these people is ever mentioned again and nothing ever even comes of it, which begs the question "why even bring it up in the first place?").
I could have even glossed over the fact that we're expected to believe our main character has not one single friend in the whole entire world simply because no one understands him.
Yep, I might have looked passed all that - along with the over-the-top villains with nonsensical motivations, people doing things for the sake of doing them, and dumba** characters who grumble incessantly because they don't get what they want (I'm looking at you, Ciaran).
As bad as all of those things are - and, oh, they're bad - I was willing to cut this book a lot of slack because I'm a sucker (pun intended) for a vampire story. However, there are three things I simply cannot forgive:
1) We are essentially told that our main character, Michael "Professional Victim and All-Around Mr. Whiny Pants" Howard, can only be happy if he finds his soul mate.
* * * Spoiler Alert! * * *
2) That long, long ago, a chick from Atlantis slept with a vampire dude, thus creating a strange hybrid race of - wait for it - vampires with webbed feet and hands who can breathe underwater. No, I'm serious! Vampire mermaids (or mermen) Do we call them merpires? Vammaids? No, wait! Vermen! Seriously, these stupid-a** hybrid vampires have to drink from a pool once a month to keep on living. Does anybody remember when vampires killed people? Well, there are "real" vampires in the book who do kill people, but they're the bad guys. Anyway.
3) The worst infraction of all is this: Michael's soul mate - Ronin ::groan:: - literally steals the mortal life right out from under him while Michael sleeps. STEALS IT! Without so much as a, "hey, remember that conversation where I asked if you'd be willing to accept eternal life if it were offered? Well, what I didn't tell you was I'm a vermen (long story) and I actually have the capability to give you eternal life so we can be together for always and forever - is that what you want?" we get, "So, yeah, by the way, I'm a vermen (long story) and I took it upon myself to rob you of your mortal life while you were sleeping because my Mom totally said we're meant to be together. That's okay, right? Now come drink from the pool, mmmkay?" Granted, Michael is temporarily upset about this, and we endure page after page of "OMG! My life is, like, over cuz I thought I'd, like, found my soul mate, but he, like, totally lied to me and stuff. And now my life is, like, over because I'm totally incapable of, like, being responsible for my own, like, happiness." And then Michael's suddenly okay with it because - ::sigh:: - his dead Mom (no, really!) tells him - wait for it - that they're meant to be together.
Other reviewers have mentioned it, but it bears repeating. The "head jumps" (POV changes) in this book come fast and furious. It was difficult enough to figure out who was thinking (and talking) in scenes with only two characters, but some scenes featured many characters and so many POV jumps that you had no clue who was thinking, or saying, what. Whoever edited this book needs to have their head examined. And the author should be ashamed of himself - it's horrible storytelling.
Even after all this, the book did hold my interest. I mean, I actually wanted to finish it. I'm not sure that means I'm willing to give Part Two (Unwelcome) a chance when it hits stores this August. We'll see. Overall, this was a big disappointment.

Unnatural (Archangel Academy) Overview

Ten Percent of publisher proceeds from the sale of this e-book at Amazon Kindle through 3/31/11 will benefit The Source Foundation--http://www.redbankregional.k12.nj.us/Community/SF/Default.aspxIn the town of Eden in northwestern England stands the exclusive boarding school known as Archangel Academy. Ancient and imposing, it's a place filled with secrets. Just like its students. . .For Michael Howard, being plucked from his Nebraska hometown and sent thousands of miles away is as close as he's ever come to a miracle. In Weeping Water, he felt trapped, alone. At Archangel Academy, Michael belongs. And in Ciaran, Penry, and especially Ciaran's enigmatic half-brother Ronan, Michael finds friendship deeper than he's ever known. But Michael's only beginning to understand what makes the Academy so special. Ronan is a vampire--part of a hybrid clan who are outcasts even among other vampires. Within the Academy's confines exists a ruthless world of deadly rivalries and shifting alliances, of clandestine love and forbidden temptations. And soon Michael will confront the destiny that brought him here--and a danger more powerful than he can imagine. . .Michael Griffo is an award-winning writer and one of six playwrights whose career will be tracked by WritersInsight.com until 2010. He is a graduate of New York University, has studied at Playwrights Horizons and Gotham Writers Workshop, and has written several screenplays.

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