Showing posts with label borderline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label borderline. Show all posts

42% Off Discounts: Special Prices for Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder Review

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder Review

I don't know how Randi Kreger and Paul Mason did it, but they have made a singular contribution to the world with their web site and with the publication of this life-saving book. Please allow me to post this from the book for anyone looking for help in or out of a bad situation right now:
Predictable Stages: People who love someone with BPD seem to go through similar stages. The longer the relationship has lasted, the longer each stage seems to take. Although these are listed in the general order in which people go through them, most people move back and forth among different stages.
Confusion Stage. This generally occurs before a diagnosis of BPD is known. Non-BPs struggle to understand why borderlines sometimes behave in ways that seem to make no sense. They look for solutions that seem elusive, blame themselves, or resign themselves to living in chaos. Even after learning about BPD, it can take non-BPs weeks or months to really comprehend on an intellectual level how the BP is personally affected by this complex disorder. It can take even longer to absorb the information on an emotional level.
Outer-Directed Stage. In this stage, non-borderlines turn their attention toward the person with the disorder, urging them to seek professional help, attemping to get them to change, and trying their best not to trigger problematic behavior. People at this stage usually learn all they can about BPD in an effort to understand and empathize with the person they care about. It can take nopn-BPs a long time to acknowledge feelings of anger and grief--especially when the BP is a parent or child. Anger is an extremely common reaction, even though most non-BPs understand on an intellectual level that BPD is not the borderline's fault. Yet because anger seems to be an inappropriate response to a situation that may be beyond the borderline's control, non-BPs often suppress their anger and instead experience depression, hopelessness, and guilt. The chief tasks for non-BPs in this stage include acknowledging and dealing with their own emotions, letting BPs take responsibility for their own actions, and giving up the fantasy that the BP will behave as the non-BP would like them to.
Inner-Directed Stage. Eventually, non-BPs look inward and conduct an honest apparaisal of themselves. It takes two people to have a relationship, and the goal for non-BPs in this stage is to better understand their role in making the relationship what it now is. The objective here is not self-recrimination, but insight and self-discovery.
Decision-Making Stage. Armed with knowledge and insight, non-BPs struggle to make decisions about the relationship. This stage can often take months or years. Non-BPs in this stage need to clearly understand their own values, beliefs, expectations, and assumptions. For example, one man with a physically violent borderline wife came from a conservative family that strongly disapprove of divorce. His friends counseled him to separate from her, but he felt unable to do so because of his concern about how his family would react. You may find that your beliefs and values have served you well throughout your life. Or you may find that you inherited them from your family without determining whether or not they truly reflect who you are. Either way, it is important to be guided by your OWN values--not someone else's.
Resolution Phase. In this final stage, non-BPs implement their decisions and live with them. Depending upon the type of relationship, some non-BPs may, over time, change their minds many times and try different alternatives.
And:
....When it comes to chosen relationships, we found that the BP's willingness to admit they had a problem and seek help was by far the determining factor as to whether the couple stayed together or not....
If you are looking at this right now, know that you are not alone. There are countless others who understand all you have been through for nothing. Get on the non-BP mailing list at Randi Kreger's site and buy this book NOW. It can and will save your life, whatever you decide.

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder Overview



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40% Off Discounts: Lowest Price The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide Review

The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide

Are you looking to buy The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide? here is the right place to find the great deals. we can offer discounts of up to 90% on The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide. check out the link below:

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The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide Review

Some persons with BPD really cannot use therapy very well, and in many parts of the country--outside the NYC and San Francisco and a couple of other major urban centers--it is hard to find therapists who really know how to work with borderlines. Indeed, many therapists don't even recognize BPD when it's right in front of them, especially if the borderline is talented (as so many are) at knowing what the therapist wants to see in order to think well of him or her. Especially when a very smart BPD, having spent a lifetime at pleasing authority figures and cajoling them into the role of caretaker, encounters a rather less smart therapist, the stage is set for a folie a deux, with the therapist ratifying the patient's pathology and falling into something like the role of worshipful caretaker.
Thus, self-study is sometimes the best route for the BPD who is serious about getting better.
Self-study is always helpful for the BPD, even the BPD who has a savvy therapist--that is, a therapist who does not want to be a hero or the sole source of help. (If your therapist doesn't like the idea of your doing self-guided study, run.) For that purpose, too, this book is excellent.
The authors have constructed some absolutely brilliant exercises, and they guide you through the kind of structured work that BPD's need in order to acquire inner order in place of their terrified chaos.
If you're a therapist who works with BPD's, look at this book as something you might want to suggest that your patients buy and use in conjunction with therapy. If you are, or have reason to suspect, you suffer BPD, have a look--especially if therapy hasn't worked so well for you.
In my experience as a therapist, I found that patients with BPD are often the most intelligent, gifted, and tragically damaged of patients--but that precisely because their inner lives are so chaotic, they are better able to acquire good structure than "more functional" patients who had well-developed maladaptive structures already in place. Taking apart a long-reinforced structure is very hard, while building from chaos is, in a sense, free of that task. This book can help with finding authentic structure, in an autonomous process that minimizes some of the dangers of BPD-in-therapy.
I have come to believe that two things, not taught in textbooks, indicate whether a BPD can get well: courage and a good heart. If you have those things, you should never let anyone, therapist or otherwise, discourage you from the path to a whole, integrated life. If you have those, buy this book at help yourself toward a life free of the horrors of your early days.

The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide Overview



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