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Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy Review
Admittedly, I haven't read every marriage book ever written, so the title of this review is probably overstating the case. However, I have read a number of marriage books (including some more popular ones like "The Five Love Languages" and "Fit To Be Tied," which are also solid and worth reading), and this is the cream of the crop.The overarching theme of the book is explicated clearly in its subtitle, that marriage is primarily a means of God drawing us to holiness rather than an instrument used to bring about our own happiness. This concept seems to cast a somewhat melancholy vision for marriage as a medium for unhappy relationships, and many of the other folks with whom we read the book were initially disheartened by that premise. However, after giving Thomas some time to flesh out this idea, they came around to appreciate the heart of his message.
What I love most about "Sacred Marriage" is the concept of marriage as a spiritual discipline. Just like Richard Foster in "Celebration of Discipline" is able to turn the most traditional spiritual disciplines like fasting and study into something desirable and appealing, Thomas casts a vision of marriage that just draws me to an almost feverish pitch of anticipation. From Thomas' perspective, God can and will (if I am open to His work) use my marriage as one of the primary means of drawing me to Himself. And that has nothing to do with the circumstances of my marriage at any given time or the particular ways that my wife treats me. When we open ourselves to this new perspective, our marriages have the opportunity to be totally transformational. What an exciting prospect!!!
Another part of this book that was most appealing to me was the author's interest in drawing wisdom from many centuries of church teaching about marriage and relationships. He balanced this admiration for the church fathers with the ability to critique the components of historical church teachings that warrant criticism (like the notion that the truly holy person must be single). It is a very rare author, indeed, who can make Augustine and Clement come alive in ways that really instruct and minister to us.
Ultimately, I would recommend this book to anyone who is married, has been married, or will eventually consider marriage. I first read it a few years ago when I was engaged, and it totally transformed my perspective of marriage as I entered that divine institution. Several years later, it speaks into my life again, and I truly do hope to live out God's calling toward a "sacred marriage."
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy Overview
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