Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

39% Off Discounts: Buy Cheap Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Review

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too

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Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Review

Contrary to what one reviewer wrote, this is not the *only* book on parenting you should read. I'd recommend Faber and Maslish's other books, How to Talk so Kids will Listen..., and How to Talk so Kids Can Learn... I give this book four stars, simply because I've given the others five stars each, and I wanted to show that you should perhaps read these books first.
I found this one in the library, somewhat desperate at a time when my two-year old was regularly trying to pinch and scratch my newborn baby. What to do? It felt awful. I clutched Siblings Without Rivalry to me like a lifebuoy.
Did it help? Emphatically, yes! There is tons of helpful material here, especially the stuff about helping children to express their feelings appropriately, and the advice to treat children uniquely rather than equally. I was worried that the authors might just rehash what they said in How to Talk so Kids Will Listen..., but they don't. The format is familiar - case studies, cartoons etc, as is the general approach to life, but the content is a real development.
I have to admit that some of the book is less relevant when one of the siblings in question is still a young baby. But I'm glad I read it when I did. I'll be coming back to it in the future.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Overview



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46% Off Discounts: Buy Cheap Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days Review

Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior and Character in 5 Days

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Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days Review

This book saved me. What is more embarrassing than your mother-in-law buying you a book on parenting, but I was so desperate I picked it up and read it in 2 nights. I started implementing the ideas immediately and get this....I saw an instant change in my daughter's behavior! I was in this huge battle with her everyday and didn't even see how wrong I was to try and do battle with a 3 year old, but she is so strong-willed and I dug my heels in. I was going about it all wrong. I am so incredibly grateful for this book! I started reading it on Saturday night and saw such a significant change in her behavior by Thursday!! I liked how the book gave very specific and useful techniques and how I didn't ever get mad or angry like I was before. I just needed to refine my skills. I have read Dr. Leman's book, Sheet Music, and now I can say I'm a fan. Sheet music saved my marriage, and this book saved my relationship with my daughter. I would highly recommend it!

Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days Overview

Anyone who has dealt with a strong-willed child knows that it is no easy task to turn bad behavior around. But the popularity of TV programs like Supernanny and Nanny 911 shows that parents have had it up to here and are ready to try anything to get their children to behave. Bestselling author and psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman is here to help. Have a New Kid by Friday shows parents how to reverse negative behavior in their children--fast! With his signature wit and encouragement, Dr. Leman offers hope and real, practical, doable strategies for regaining control and becoming the parents they always wanted to be. Focusing on changing a child's attitude, behavior, and character, it contains chapters for each day of the week and a special section with advice on everything from rolling eyes to sibling rivalry to talking back to punching walls and much, much more. This large section of more than 100 specific topics is indexed, allowing parents to flip immediately to any areas of concern for witty, straightforward, and gutsy plans of action.

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20% Off Discounts: Best Buy for Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches Review

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches

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Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches Review

As I write this I my three little monkeys are noisily attempting to go to sleep in the other room. The fourth little monkey may only be the size of a raspberry, but from a cozy position in my womb he or she is making his or her presence felt (headache, queasiness, fatigue...). I have 60 nails on 60 fingers and toes to keep trimmed, not counting my own! There are toys in the Tupperware cupboard and Tupperware in the toy box. And yes, I probably could recite Green Eggs and Ham. I know what motherhood in the trenches looks like.
Loving the Little Years is not a book to make you feel good about how long it's been since you cleaned your bathroom. This book won't tell you to hire a babysitter so you can have a day off with your girlfriends and keep in touch with the real you. This book doesn't say that the answer to all your stress is to spend two hours with the Lord at four in the morning. There are no suggested schedules, no spanking formulas, no pity parties. This book is real.
With wisdom and humor, and in 20 short, punchy chapters, Rachel Jankovic reminds us mothers that we are sinners too. Sometimes when the attitudes are bad and everyone is crying the first person who needs to repent is Mommy. As mothers we pour everything we've got into "training them up in the way they should go" but we have to remember that our own journey to sanctification isn't over. God is using these mischievous little imps to make us more like Him.
When all they seem to do is make messes and all that seems to come out of their mouths is mostly unintelligible gibberish, we can tend to see our children as little bothers. But throughout this book Rachel encourages us to remember that they are little people, eternal souls, personalities in the making. She urges us to study them, know them, learn their needs, hopes, strengths and weaknesses. And she reminds us to see the individuals in the half-sized mob. The Jankovic family is fabulous at coming up with creative imagery and catch-phrases for helping their kids see their sin and to remind them to do better. From selfish dragons to Cranksters to picky chickens, Rachel has shared many of these helpful ideas.
When I bought this book I immediately took it home, put the baby down for her nap, turned on Baby Signing Time for the toddlers and read it cover to cover. Literally, I laughed and cried. I will be reading it again soon, chapter by chapter, taking notes and absorbing ideas. In fact, I will probably read it every year.

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches Overview

I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know you need encouragement because I do too. This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts. At the time of writing this, I have three children in diapers, and I can recognize the sound of hundreds of toothpicks being dumped out in the hall. This is a small collection of thoughts on mothering young children for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired. The opportunities for growth abound here but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

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39% Off Discounts: Special Prices for The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children Review

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

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The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children Review

After years of reading books on "strong-willed" or "difficult" children... and years of psychotherapy, Dr. Greene's fresh approach to what seemed an unsolvable problem has brought peace to our household for the first time in 8 years. I have bought a copy of this book for everyone that deals with my 10-year-old son: my parents, his teacher, his previous teacher, and the County Mental Health worker who is working with us on in-home behavior modification. I was very sceptical when I first learned of Dr. Greene's approach-- it sounded too easy ! But it truly, truly works.
Dr. Greene put into words what I had always known about my child, but couldn't express cohesively. My son used to have several "melt-downs" each week, and I always wondered how much control he had over his own behavior and emotions. Now I know the answer, and also can recognize the various stages of escalation leading up to a rage episode.
Applying Dr. Greene's "basket" principles, we haven't had a melt-down in 3 weeks, and my son's cooperation with our "basket A" and "basket B" requests is fantastic. No more melt-downs, no more frustrated adults. We actually have hope for a brighter future. Even school is going really, really well.
Many thanks to Dr. Greene for giving us an alternative to manage our "inflexible, explosive" (but lovable) children !

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children Overview



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39% Off Discounts: Lowest Price NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children Review

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

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NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children Review

Parenting books are ubiquitous. How to sift through and determine which are worthy? I have a teenage daughter and have read quite a few. Even when I thought I was impressed, there was always something nagging at me about them. I determined that many of the books had an outside or hidden agenda, which was to socialize parents according to a specific sheep-herding mentality. Often, a social consciousness or a reaction to a negative social consciousness about raising children informed these "manuals." In other words, the science behind the thinking was weak--they were often politically charged or reactionary.
The blurbs about this book intrigued me, but I was also skeptical--until I read the first chapter on the inverse power of praise. Parents and guardians--just get ye to a bookstore and read the first chapter. I think you will be galvanized by its immediacy and logic (as well as back-up data) and it will inspire you to continue. It all clicked when I read about our praise-junkie tendencies, and how it has a paradoxical effect. The authors never condescend to us; they maintain that all of us want to make the best and most informed decisions. For instance, most of us start telling our babies, from the cradle "You are so smart" as almost a mantra of parenting. The authors do not criticize positive praise--they are revealing the data for specific types of praise. Telling a kid he or she is smart rather than specifically praising them for their efforts will eventually backfire. The child will have a tendency to not put out a lot of effort when they are challenged because they are stymied by the feeling that they have to stay smart, or that they must be NOT smart if they can't solve a problem or puzzle. Telling a kid (s)he is smart is praising an innate feature that is out of the child's control. Praising them for each genuine effort (whether they solved a problem or not) will have a better outcome. I cannot convey to readers the way that these authors channel and support this information--the statistical data and the entire beautiful logic of it--you must read it for yourselves.
The chapter on race relations also woke me out of a deep slumber of complacency. Too often, parents try to teach their kids equality just by placing them in diverse environments or showing them videos of multicultural friendships and cooperation. The book explicated a longitudinal study done by Dr. Bigler in Austin, Texas that revealed the lack of actual parent/child discussion on racial equality. That is the key ingredient to integration. Silence is not golden--(silence is black and white, and never the twain shall meet)--it is the wrong kind of colorblind. Just read this chapter and it will open your eyes.
Each section is such a wake-up call to parenting that I found myself reflecting on the blind spots in my own methods--not in an immolating way, but rather in an "aha!" manner. It isn't guesswork or just someone's opinion. The longitudinal studies, ongoing tests, data compilation, and control studies are explicit. But, more than that, you will feel a light bulb go off--it is seriously the most intrepid book I have ever read on parenting. No exaggeration. I can apply the book's information to my own parenting experiences and trials and realize how on the mark these studies are.
There is a chapter on sleep--its bearing and consequences on child performance, on obesity, and on mood. This section alone is worth the price of the book. I learned which parts of the sleep cycle are integral to the storage of which information. They describe the parts of the brain being affected when information is received and when sleep is disrupted. But, more importantly, the authors lay out the pitfalls of losing just 15 minutes or an hour of sleep--so many teenage problems are associated with this that some trailblazing schools are finally arranging the hours of education based on these studies. But more schools need this call to action. And we need to encourage a positive sleep pattern with our children. I know this sounds de rigueur and obvious. But this chapter on sleep is way more comprehensive than anything I have read before, and profound. Almost everything in the quality of your children's lives depends on it.
One of my favorite sections was the one that is like a riptide into everything you thought you knew about your child's language acquisition. Baby Einstein? Fuhgettaboutit. And don't try teaching your children a foreign language by popping in a Spanish DVD and parking them in front of the TV. Not going to happen. As a matter of fact, it will have a deleterious effect. A child needs a "live" person to learn. Additionally, it is the call and response between parent and baby that is the key to increasing their vocabulary and comprehension. Baby Einstein videos are like disembodied voices that do absolutely zip for their education. Sesame Street in Spanish is just as ineffective. Please read the chapter--the whole controversy is revealed when the studies proved that these baby videos are empty and hollow forms of education.
Perhaps my personal favorite is the chapter on teen rebellion. I recognize the arguing and lying of children in a whole new way now. How and why children cultivate what we think of as egregious behaviors usually stems from a psychologically astute and desirable place in their hearts and growth. It is the same with arguing. We need to shed our preconceptions and outmoded concerns about teen compliance, obedience, and integrity and understand the necessary steps in their development. There is a paradox about child/teen lying--it is expected, but it still must be dealt with.
And there is more--sibling rivalry, IQ testing, testing for elite schools at an early age, self-control, and playing well with others are covered immaculately.
Yes, it will blow the lid off, turn upside down just about everything previously advocated in parenting books. But not in a confounding way. That is an important ingredient to consider. This book, the way I perceive it, is not intended to upset or horrify you or derail your parenting experience. (Although, by its very nature it does derail previous long-held concepts, but in a compassionate way.) As a matter of fact, it provided clarity into numerous bogus concepts and the pious conditioning that we have been hanging onto for years. Additionally, it offers specific practices and interventions that can be measured rather swiftly in your own home with these changes to your personal parenting skills. As much as this book "shocks," it is not intimidating or finger-pointing at parents (although it does point a finger into disingenuous studies). The accessible and engaging flow of narrative is dotted with levity, lightness, and always benevolence. I read this book in just a few sittings and I retained the information well. It is easy to go back and reference what you read, as the chapters are laid out in an explicit, user-friendly manner.
Slide your other parenting books to the side of the shelf and place this one squarely in the middle. I acknowledge this book as a parenting imperative. Read it and leap.

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children Overview



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39% Off Discounts: Best Price The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition Review

The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition

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The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition Review

Dr. Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" book got me through the newborn phase, so this was the first toddler book I went to. It was a very interesting read. His basic premise is that toddlers are little cavepeople: the right side of their brain, which deals with language and logic, is not very developed, while the left side, which is very emotional, calls most of the shots. He talks a lot about how parents have to be an ambassador: keep relations happy, while putting their foot down when it really matters. He divides toddler behavior into three categories: "green light" behaviors, which are positive and should be encouraged; "yellow light" behaviors, which are the annoying but not completely unacceptable things toddlers do (whining, for example); and "red light" behaviors which are unacceptable because they are either dangerous or they disobey a key family rule. He gives a great deal of advice on how to deal with each of these three types.
I thought that this was a very honest book about parenting a toddler, despite the fact that some of the things that he said were rather jarring. Some of his advice is very much in opposite to other books, and what I think most parents think is the "right" way to parent. For example, he really emphasizes making compromises, and in at least one example encourages some white lies. Not exactly the type of advice I expect from a parenting book. But this also made it more realistic than other suggestions I've read about raising a toddler. Toddlers don't have the logic skills of an adult, and realistically you have to pick your battles.
The most interesting part of the book to me, and the main reason I think that this book is worth reading, is about talking at your toddler's level when he or she is upset. Karp points out that parents are usually very comfortable talking in toddler-ese when their child is happy, but when their child is upset they try to talk in a calming voice. This backfires, because they are using complex sentences, long words, and a monotonous voice that can be hard for a toddler to understand. So the toddler gets even MORE frustrated and upset. I thought that his solutions for dealing with this problem were well worth reading.
I haven't read the old edition, so I can't comment on what changes were made.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition Overview

This streamlined revision of the breakthrough bestseller by renowned child-development expert Dr. Harvey Karp will do even more to help busy parents survive the "terrible twos" and beyond....In one of the most revolutionary advances in parenting of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp revealed that toddlers often act like uncivilized little cavemen, with a primitive way of thinking and communicating that is all their own. In this revised edition of his parenting classic, Dr. Karp has made his innovative approach easier to learn—and put into action—than ever before.Combining his trademark tools of Toddler-ese and the Fast-Food Rule with a highly effective new green light/yellow light/red light method for molding toddler behavior, Dr. Karp provides fast solutions for today's busy and stressed parents. As you discover ways to boost your child's good (green light) behavior, curb his annoying (yellow light) behavior, and immediately stop his unacceptable (red light) behavior you will learn how to soothe his stormy outbursts with amazing success—and better yet, prevent these outbursts before they begin! And the new thirty-item glossary of Dr. Karp's parenting techniques will save you valuable time when you need to instantly calm an out-of-control child. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and more happy, loving time for you and your child.

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40% Off Discounts: Best Price Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Review

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years

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Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Review

Are you a parent of a child six years or younger? Do you find that Calgon can't take you quite far enough away from parenting woes? Have you shed tears over behavior exhibited by your angel-turned-hellion? If so, this book is for you.
Having personally shed tears over my two-year-old daughter's colorful displays of strong will, I picked up this book that I've had since before she was born. Being that she was such a wonderful baby, I naively figured we'd skate through the "terrible twos" and that they wouldn't be terrible at all. While I wouldn't globally say that from 18 months until now has been terrible, it's been more challenging.
That's where logic comes in. This book is particularly helpful to those of us who don't tend to operate logically but react emotionally. It offers practical steps that when employed as recommended really work. The authors say that it's never too late or too early to start putting into practice the techniques.
The book impresses the value of children experiencing the natural consequences of their actions (logic). Simultaneously, the authors encourage parents many times throughout the book to empathize with their children prior to disciplining (love). For example, Stella throws her food at lunch. Mom says, "That's so sad. Lunch is over now." Mom maintains her composure, puts an end to the behavior without lecturing and multiple warnings, and the child bears an immediate consequence for the behavior.
According to the authors, children love to make choices so give them plenty. These choices, however, should be ones that make you happy and don't bother "anyone else on the planet." For example, Dad asks, "Would you like milk or juice for lunch? Or would you like to go to bed now or in five minutes?" Whatever the child decides, having soda for lunch is not an option. Likewise, not going to bed is not an option.
The approach presented in the book may sound lightweight to some but actually is quite strict and gives children effective boundaries. The ultimate goal of using the Love and Logic techniques: raise responsible children that respect authority, have a positive self-concept, and who are able to make wise independent decisions now and throughout life.
When I started trying the "experiments" outlined in the book, I witnessed immediate results with our daughter. Being the type that needs things spelled out for me, the specific steps accompanied by numerous examples in the book helped me grasp the principles easily. The book has also helped me breathe easier. After feeling distraught and certain we were failing miserably as parents, I now feel renewed by a sense of joy and hope. Yes, the book has that much power.
The challenge now is to be quicker on my feet with good choices. My husband and I have said some of the most ridiculous things in an effort to give our daughter choices we'll be happy with. It's good comic relief for otherwise tense and frustrating moments.
Note: About halfway through the book, the authors offer a three-step suggestion for disciplining children three and younger (when reasoning is more difficult). Also, I have yet to do so, but it would probably be helpful to read the original Parenting With Love and Logic book as it explains the love and logic principles.
THANK YOU TO THE AUTHORS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK!! YOU'VE TRANSFORMED THE TERROR OF TODDLERHOOD. YOU'VE ALSO PROMPTED ME TO HAVE FUN AND LIGHTEN UP. IF MY DAUGHTER COULD TELL YOU HERSELF, SHE'D SAY THANK YOU FOR HELPING MOM NOT BE SO UPTIGHT.

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years Overview



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44% Off Discounts: Purchase Cheap The Five Love Languages of Children Review

The Five Love Languages of Children

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The Five Love Languages of Children Review

Chapman, with co-writer Ross Campbell, M.D., have written The Five Love Languages Of Children, which applies the love language theory to children. How can you tell your child's main love language? Chapman offers these suggestions:
1. Observe how your child expresses love to you.
Chapman and Campbell: Watch your child; he may well be speaking his own language. This is particularly true of a young child, who is very likely to express love to you in the language he desires most to receive.
I've seen this with my own 4 1/2 year old. Noah will come up to me or my husband, and try to engage us in a wrestling match. Or he'll pat our arms, give us a hug, etc. He has shown us that his main love language is that of Physical Touch!
2. Observe how your child expresses love to others.
If you notice your child making crafts for relatives, or wanting to take presents to classmates or teacher, this may indicate that her primary love language is Gifts.
3. Listen to what your child requests most often.
If your child often asks you questions like "How do I look, Mommy?", "What do you think of my drawing?", or "Did you think I did well at practice today?", this pattern may indicate that his love language is Words of Affirmation.
4. Notice what your child most frequently complains about.
Frequent complaints such as "You never have time for me", "Why don't you play games with me?", or "We never do things together" would be indicative of the need for Quality Time.
5. Give your child a choice between two options.
Chapman and Campbell suggests to lead your child to make choices between two love language. For example, a Dad might say to his son, "I have some free time Saturday. Would you like me to fix your bike, or would you rather go to the park together and shoot some hoops?". The choice is between Acts of Service and Quality Time. A mother may say, "I have some time tonight. Would you like to go shopping, and I'll help you pick out a new outfit, or would you rather stay home and we'll do a puzzle together?" You've given her the choice between Gifts and Quality Time.
Chapman and Campbell explain: As you give options for several weeks, keep a record of your child's choices. If most of them tend to cluster around one of the five love languages, you have likely discovered which one makes your child feel most loved. At times, your child will not want either option, and will suggest something else. You should keep a record of those requests also, since they may give you clues.
Of course, the choices you offer your child will depend on age and interest.
I highly recommend this book for understanding your child's own unique love languages, and how you can better fill his or her "love tank"!

The Five Love Languages of Children Overview

Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved? Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The Five Love Languages has helped more than 300,000 couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior.

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39% Off Discounts: Special Prices for Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries Review

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries

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Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries Review

As a step parent of a very "Spirited" and "Strong-Willed" child, I can acknowledge first hand that the methods and philosophy of this book WILL promote harmony and cooperation. Maybe not initially but certainly in the long term. "Setting Limits" deals with discipline issues associated with the nine temperamental traits: 1.Persistance, 2.Intensity, 3.Regularity, 4. Distractability, 5.Energy and Activity Level, 6.Sensitivity, 7.Adaptability, 8.Reactivity, and 9.Mood.
The author is also the parent of two children, one compliant, easy going, and the other one strong-willed/demanding so he can relate with the parents who scream, "nothing works with this kid!".
This book is NOT about harsh punishement but rather teaches respectful limit setting, which is an essential teaching tool. It teaches parents to give children clear, respectful messages to convey the necessary information for the child to make acceptable choices. To focus on the behaviour in a way that does not belittle, criticize or shame the child. Although parents may genuinely feel that they are giving a clear "Stop" message to their child, they are sometimes unwittingly giving a yellow or even green light to unwanted behaviours. The strong-willed child interprets these vague massages as "Optional requests" or learns only that the behaviour upsets or angers the parent. This may lead to increased limit testing to see where the boundaries really are, especially if they enjoy making us jump and yell. It sometimes seems that Strong-willed children need to learn everything the hard way by agressivly testing all limits or restrictions (much more than compliant children) to see where the bottom line really is. They are aggressive researchers who leave parents little room for ineffective discipline. There is not much to prepare a parent for dealing with a strong-willed child, and unfortunately they tend to bring out the worst qualities in parents. A child that can argue and debate like a courtroom attorney, develop sudden hearing loss, or dawdle until you are late for work. Parents easily fall into ineffectual ruts of predictable reaction based on our own upbringing and parenting assumptions.
The good news is that the solution usually involves doing much less than what the parent is probably doing at present. You must accept and acknowledge that this is part of the childs personality/temperament, and that they will always need a little more structure and consistancy than compliant chidren. It does not mean they can't learn to cooperate and observe family rules. This book shows parents how and "WHEN" to negotiate rules, what behaviours should be ignored, which ones must be corrected and most importantly "How to do it!".
The most impressive part of all the books I've read by Robert J MacKenzie, is the weath of realistic examples. Every point is thoroughly illustrated for clarity, with discipline scenarios which all parents can readily idenetify with. There are sections on motivating your strong-willed child, encouraging independence, teaching skills, and role-modeling
The entire book is aimed at teaching your child self control. Some books on the challenging children seem more focused on avoiding conflict and undulging the child, which might be great for the short-term, but how can it possibly prepare the child for the real world.
I would also highly recommend reading the book "The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids" by Swihart and Cotter.
Out of the dozens of parenting books I've read, "Setting Limits" is certainly one of the best written and sound discipline books for strong-willed children.

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries Overview

Does your child constantly misbehave and ignore or refuse your requests for proper behavior? Is your relationship with your child based on conflict instead of mutual respect and cooperation? With the help of this groundbreaking book, you can create a positive, respectful, and rewarding relationship with your child.Inside are proven techniques and procedures that provide a refreshing alternative to the ineffective extremes of punishment and permissiveness. Parents and teachers alike will discover how to effectively motivate the strong-willed child and achieve proper conduct. You will learn how to:· Understand and empathize without giving in · Hold your ground without threatening · Remove daily power struggles between you and your child · Give clear, firm messages that your child understands and respects · And much more!"Eminently useful and readable! This book should be a part of every parent's and school's reference library." —Judy E. Hunt-Brown, principal, Elk Grove Unified School District"A grand book that teaches everybody in the family new skills and encourages more peaceful, socially acceptable lives at home, school, in the office, or in any social group." —Barbara O'Donnell, principal, St. Francis Elementary School"A highly recommended eye-opener; beautifully documented." —Stewart E. Teal, M.D., clinical professor of child psychiatry, University of California, Davis

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38% Off Discounts: Buy Cheap 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Review

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

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1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Review

I have two very strong-willed little boys. I read this book, and I actually tried the advice out of desperation. I became more and more dependent on these tactics, and I felt like all I was doing was counting and punishing. We became more and more at odds, and our relationship became angry and distrustful. I finally had enough, realized I was on the wrong track, and searched for better advice.
I read Parent Effectiveness Training, and I must say, it has absolutely changed my household. It's all about how to listen effectively to your child's feelings, how to effectively communicate your own feelings, and how to find a win-win solution that's acceptable to all parties. Sounds too good to be true? Just look at my review of that book.
If you want to get some short-term, quick fix to your problems, try the advice in this book. If you want to solve problems in a way that makes everyone happy, and then have your discipline issues slowly disappear, get some better advice.

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Overview

This revised edition of theaward-winning 1-2-3 Magic program addresses the difficult task of child discipline with humor, keen insight, and proven experience. The technique offers a foolproof method of disciplining children ages two through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking.

By means of three easy-to-follow steps, parents learn to manage troublesome behavior, encouragegood behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship—avoiding the "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit" syndrome which frustratesso many parents. Ten strategies for building a child's self-esteem and the six types of testing and manipulation a parent can expect from the child are discussed, as well astips on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores.New advice about kids and technology and new illustrations bring this essential parenting companion completely up-to-date.


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38% Off Discounts: Best Price Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) Review

Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition)

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Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) Review

I found the "thinking words" vs. "fighting words" sections very helpful. Instead of "Stop yelling!" try "When your voice is as calm as mine, I'll be glad to talk with you." (works for whining too!) Once you've read this book, the "pearls" are easy to use later as a quick reference (about 50 issues including bossiness, getting ready for school, bedtime, teeth brushing, TV, temper tantrums and whining ). The first time I read the book a few years ago, I knew there were some great ideas, but I also felt like I was about to let my children initially experience too many logical consequences, and perhaps a drop in self-esteem. I think the book missed an opportunity to give parents an option to gradually implement their method of teaching responsibility by first acting as an emotional coach. A recently released book used in conjunction with this one was the answer I was looking for. If you have young children or think you may want to help coach your children first, try this book along with "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (author of "Raising your Spirited Child"). The combination is powerful! I keep both books on hand for quick reference and my favorite ideas from them taped to my refrigerator.

Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) Overview



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42% Off Discounts: Lowest Price Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life Review

Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life

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Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life Review

My bookgroup read this book and we couldn't stop talking about it. Lareau concludes from her look at different families that there are 2 parenting styles in America: one for middle and upper class families (concerted cultivation)and another for poor and low-income families (natural development). This book made us think about how we were raised, how we wish to raise our children and why, and how these ideals do and don't match with our spouses' upbringing and parenting styles. Lareau outlines the positive and negative aspects of each parenting style. This is a fascinating book for anyone interested in race and class in America. It is also a fine example of a research study written for a lay audience. As an academic and qualitative researcher I found this to be an excellent guide. It was easy to read, even for my non-academic friends, and every footnote was revealing about Lareau's own biases and upbringing. A MUST READ!

Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life Overview



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60% Off Discounts: Purchase Cheap The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children Review

The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children

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The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children Review

I just finished this last night, and I plan to go back through it again. It's one of the better books on raising children that I've ever read. Mogel is a child psychologist with a definite slant--for her, a lot of the answers to parenting problems lie in encouraging spiritual growth, in ourselves and in our children. You don't have to be Jewish to find great material in this book--I'm not--but you definitely need to accept the premise that human beings are happier in a spiritually enriched environment.

I have already started implementing some of Mogel's suggestions for fostering responsibility in children and encouraging them to be grateful for what they have (as opposed to constantly needing more to be satisfied). Moreover, I mean to stay mindful of her emphasis on a parent's need to accept a child's basic nature. If you can name the personality trait in your child that drives you insane, Mogel says, you have already named his greatest strength. Helping to raise him to his greatest potential involves teaching him how to utilize his nature, not how to subvert it. Unlike some modern psychological parenting texts, _The Blessing of a Skinned Knee_ doesn't pretend that children are blank slates to be filled with whatever we please. Instead, Mogel offers practical suggestions for working with the material we're given.
One of the elements of the book that I would most share with my friends involves discipline. Mogel breaks down transgressions by intent and offers concrete ways to deal with them compassionately and calmly. She several times references Biblical exhortations to discipline--not in a pro-spanking stance, but in reminding parents that this is a responsibility that comes with the territory. I wish that some of the more stern parents of my acquaintance would read her arguments against shaming children. Mogel does not believe that discipline requires humiliation. Those who swing the other way--me included--could benefit from her section on restitution. My 8-year-old suffers an overly developed sense of guilt, and I am hoping that following her suggestions for restitution will allow him to feel a healthy sense of closure and relief.
While every reader of books of this type needs to exercise discretion in determining what will work in his or her household, there's a lot of solid advice here. It doesn't address every situation or every concern, and I don't believe it intends to. What it does is provide a framework for a new way of thinking about parenting which might be useful when you encounter those situations not covered.

The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children Overview



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